What to do when you're too upset to think straight

Jul 23, 2026 · 23 min

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EP · Life Kit · What to do when you're too upset to think straight22:42

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0:01Distress is inevitable.

0:04Pain is an inevitable part of life.

0:06And so much of what we do are attempts to avoid distress and pain.

0:13We drink when we're anxious, or we lash out at people when we're angry.

0:18Those behaviors are the result of not knowing how to tolerate what feels intolerable in that moment, which is that emotional experience.

0:32You're listening to LifeKit.

0:34I'm Marie El Segara.

0:35And you just heard from Shireen Risby.

0:37She's a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Montefiore, Einstein.

0:42She co-wrote a book called Real Skills for Real Life, and it's filled with distress tolerance skills that come from dialectical behavior therapy.

0:51That's a form of therapy that helps people understand the connections between their thoughts, their behaviors, and their emotions.

0:58She says, according to this framework, in moments of distress, we have these two options.

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