1013 | Stop Punishing Your Kids: Dr. Becky on a Better Way to Parent (Friday Favorites)

Sep 11, 2026 · 53 min

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EP · The Rachel Hollis Podcast · 1013 | Stop Punishing Your Kids: Dr. Becky on a Better Way to Parent (Friday Favorites)52:43

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0:00A parent has two main jobs in a family system, and that's really important that we think

0:05about ourselves as a job because every parent I know is like, this is my most important

0:09job.

0:09I want to do it well.

0:10But no one at a company would ever do their job well if they didn't have a job description,

0:15right?

0:16You know this.

0:17If someone didn't have a job description and you were just like, do your job well, I think

0:20if they said, wait, I don't even know what my job is, you would say, oh, well, you definitely

0:24can't do your job well if you don't know what your job is.

0:26And most parents, when I say, what is your job?

0:28They'll say like, I don't, I actually don't really know.

0:31Well, great.

0:32That's where we start.

0:33Parent always has the same jobs.

0:35Setting boundaries.

0:37This is so important.

0:38This is why I say good inside isn't gentle.

0:40It's not permissive.

0:41It's sturdy.

0:42We are the authority.

0:43You are the pilot.

0:43You set boundaries.

0:45And most people misunderstand what boundaries are.

0:48And with these kids, your fourth and my third, boundaries are like 90% of the game.

0:52So we'll go over that.

0:53Boundaries.

0:53The other is validating kids' feelings because kids always have feelings in reaction to our boundaries.

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