899. Men tell us what they want in BED: Better sex with Vanessa + Xander Marin

0:00We had that super hot and heavy beginning.

0:02The chemistry was so good between the two of us.

0:05And then all of a sudden, it's a couple years into the relationship.

0:10I'm sitting on the sofa in our living room.

0:13Xander's sitting on the sofa on the other end of the living room.

0:17We're eating takeout straight out of the container.

0:19We're wearing like disgusting, grubby pajamas.

0:22And I remember having the thought, I don't remember the last time we had sex.

0:26I think probably the very first thing I felt was incredibly emasculated because men have been socialized from probably puberty onward that like we're supposed to want it more.

0:37Well, this is a perfect example of socialization.

0:38You need to want more.

0:39Why do you not want me even though you're participating and then you're like, I'm bad because I don't want sex all the time.

0:45Sex has to prove something.

0:47You have to prove to me that I'm attractive.

0:50You have to prove to me that I'm desirable.

0:52You have to prove to me that our relationship is okay.